Poise Under Pressure

We had chaos in our home last week. Fifteen minutes before departure our son informed us that he had to make a mouse costume to wear to school. Each Monday afternoon a sheet of information arrives home detailing the week’s events. “Mouse Day” had arrived and with the typical hum of our household, we were most unprepared.

As each of us scurried, I reached into the craft cupboard and pulled out a piece of construction paper. The ears of a mouse began to take form. As Caleb panicked, calm tiptoed its way into our home.

We are far from flawless. In training up children to develop character, success pivots on knowing what truths to embrace and being consistent in what you believe. A warm blanket of honesty and sincerity covers our home.

It is important to establish a set of values in your home and not just wing it. Once you know your flight plan, there are specific steps to take that will equip you for the turbulence and provide a safe landing. The goal is to achieve poise under pressure and not to tailspin when the demands of life come our way.

Teach your children and encourage them. Be passionate about getting it right. Be prepared to invest your best. They rarely land on their own. Children are learning and growing all the time. They desperately need to see us learning and growing as well. Be a wise role model and be real. They do not want perfect parents. They want real!

Make your life worth modeling. A statement we often use with Caleb is, "Doing right is more important than being right." Pride is never competition.

Steps for Success

• Prepare your clothes the night before, including accessories and extras.
• Special events need to go on your schedule and keep a copy in sight.
• To prepare for particular events allow at least a 15-minute window of time in addition to your morning routine.
• Refresh your mind with wisdom each day. I read my Bible.
• Do not panic under pressure. Be organized. When you have order then you are able to help others with grace and ease.
• Watch your tone of voice. Keep frustration to yourself. If you cannot control the events of your morning, then control the tone of your voice. It matters!
• Be realistic. We are all a work in progress and you are God's choice for parenting your child.

Proverbs 14:1 tells us that “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”

We have a responsibility to build our family by helping and encouraging them in every undertaking possible. How do we do this?

Doorways to Development

• Reflect kindness through your words and actions.
• Sealing your lips before the word slips. Chaos is not the time to vent frustration. Communicate when you are calm. The dinner table is a good place for dialogue and decisions.
• Show empathy. Defer your pride and yourself. Rather, decide to stand in their shoes.
• Stay calm and collected.
• Create a solution quickly.
• Ensure that each family member feels a valuable part of his or her team. Work toward a common goal.
• Display a pleasant attitude.
• You will be unproductive when you continually express inconvenience. Pool your resources and get the job done.
• Administrate. Have a place for every object and have everything in its place
• Children are in training. Lower your expectations and be an encouragement.
• Make it easy for them to learn.

Pressure is our classroom at home and an excellent opportunity to apply truth and embrace quality of life. Learn to appreciate the uniqueness of each family member. As you refine order in your life, enjoy uncovering solutions that are quick and simple.

Our muddled moments build teamwork. Minor and unnecessary difficulties (like making a last minute mouse costume) train a child to pick up the mantle of a disciplined character. This arms them with grace and strength to go through life victoriously.

We grow what we sow. Our children reflect our values. Incivility, impoliteness, and disrespect need to be weeded out of the home. When we neglect to cultivate manners, then we can expect to bear bad behavior in future generations. No one wants to be a bale of dead crop.

Sow the seeds of security into children’s lives by teaching them how to cope in chaos. If we do not demonstrate these principles in our own lives each day, they will soon grow up and see the chaff. We damage our example when we do not reflect accountability and responsibility.

To be exceptional in anything we must practice and prepare ourselves with a goal in mind. Prepare the next generation to be exceptional in standards and disciplined in character. They will rise to every occasion with poise. When the pitfalls come, the same principles that drive success will also drive a resolve to face the challenges.

"It is a great honor to be an Etiquette and Protocol professional. It is a greater honor to be a wife, a mother, and a friend. The stadium of home produces the showground of success." © - Deborah Choma