ETIQUETTE EARS

As leaders, we get to fill the role of counselor in many people’s lives. There are three steps in giving advice.

✔ Listen ✔ Listen ✔ Listen

Listening is something we must intentionally engage in. Actively oppose the distractions and the thoughts in your [listener] head.

GOD'S LOVE = BUILDING BLOCKS

• Don't just hear the words, enthusiastically listen; eye contact and follow along.
• Suspend all judgment. Rather, be discerning. It is easy to jump in with advice especially if what the person shares warrants a viewpoint [your opinion].
• Apply restraint and continue toward understanding.
• Dig deeper. Do not wimp out on the surface stuff by accepting simple answers.
• Be empathetic, yet quietly persistent.
• Good advice is thorough. People who want our advice deserve better than our subjective memory.
• Don't feign intelligence. Defer your advice.
• Connect with the person.

In most cases, people do not need our advice. Their deepest need is for someone to hear and understand them. Propitiated advice is superior and wins favor through the process of empathizing on an emotional level with the other person.

SHALLOW UNDERSTANDING = BAD ADVICE

When we build others through these simple yet thoughtful steps, in most cases, the person seeking advice concludes on their own.

We are often a block in the maze of making sense.

"Finally, be ye all of one mind, 

having compassion one of another, 

love as brethren, be pitiful,

be courteous:" 1 Peter 3:8

Until next time....be kind to everyone, not just the easy ones.

Deborah