Thursday, April 4

Authenticity In The Home

I admire a woman in my life. In fact, I walked up to her last night and said, “I was talking to my husband yesterday and mentioned you in our conversation. I cannot imagine what you go through. You have the whole package.”

To explain what I mean by the “whole package,” I can only go by what I see on a regular basis. Apart from being a wife and mother, she takes care of a disabled stepdaughter and an elderly mother. She is always impeccably dressed with a smile on her face. She is well groomed and so are her family members. Visibly, she accepts and engages herself with the hand she has been dealt.

This pattern of diligence is indelible and transferable  It has certainly left an impression on me.

Our manners are inauthentic if they do not leave a mark of God’s excellence behind.

If our manners are to impress the present and influence the next generation, then the transferring presupposes our example.

God recognizes what we do in private. Authenticity in the home is our greatest challenge.

There are so many elements to having a good report. Let’s look at the standard:

Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.” 1 Timothy 5:10

After researching the meaning behind the phrase “well reported,” it is synonymous with a first-class news report on earth and a first-class testimony in Heaven.

What distinguishes people who are “well reported of?”
  • Raising children [“brought up children”]
  • Being hospitable [“lodged strangers”]
  • Serving others [“washed the saints' feet”]
  • Relieving the afflicted e.g. disabled [“relieved the afflicted”]
  • Following good work [“followed every good work”]
Etiquette embodies manners. A few protocol tips for managing your manners at home are,
  1. Kind words, kind pitch
  2. Good facial expressions
  3. Embracing the moment
  4. Serving others
  5. No contact with devices (e.g. cell phone, iPod, laptop, face book, twitter, phone calls, ipad, just to name a few)
It takes enormous discipline for me to focus on in-house family and responsibilities. I am consumed with my business and the public accolades are more than the daily grind of being a wife and mother.

I am fifty-four years old, with a nine-year old son, and a husband with a full-on career. I have three daughters ranging from 23-31, scattered globally, and I love to cook everything from scratch. I also like to keep my home impeccably clean. Balancing my life requires prioritization and preparation.

We focus on our priorities at any given time. What are you working on?

In finishing, I am dedicating this article to the woman in my story who gives rise to the raison d'être of manners (French for the foundation of manners)

“Dear ________,

Thank you for your example. Your life reflects so much beauty and your conduct mirrors great manners. I am indebted for what you have done in my heart.

Gratefully Yours,

Deborah Choma”

Until next time, who comes to mind as an extraordinary person, one who is thoughtful, and who interprets and sets forth commonsense rules on how things are and ought to be in their home?

They are the true experts!

Here’s to you,
true etiquette expert,
who teaches from the heart, lives with passion,
and generously shares professional and personal wisdom!


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