Cancer | Calm | Character

"We are not merely in this world to accomplish a certain amount of work or success; we are to be fashioned into strength and beauty of character." 

Deborah Choma, 2013

Life has profound lessons and some of us never get it.

We are fashioned into strength and beauty of character through a trial.

It has taken a recent diagnosis of malignant breast cancer (Monday, August 12, 2013), to get my attention and magnify God's supremacy.

The most important element of understanding what to do when you do not know what to do is "Be still, and know that I am God:" God is very aware of your trial. In fact, he designed your trial. All things WILL work together for good, even when it's bad.

Sandra, a friend, said to me, "Deborah, I hope you are keeping a journal. You have such influence and this will help others." I agree, Sandra! 

God spoke to my heart. Whilst I have kept a journal daily for decades, I made a decision to share what God is teaching me through this deep trail. Please, I would love to hear if this has been a blessing to you personally.

How To Have Calm In A Crisis

1. Allow yourself to grieve with someone close

Cry it out! Let them minister to you and do not try to figure it out. No one is on trial, especially God.

I kept shaking my head in disbelief. Having eaten fresh food since I was young, zero pop, candy, handful of fries every couple of years...on and on. It did not make sense! "Coming to America was a mistake," - spoken through buckets of tears last week.

Grief can come to us, but it must go through us.

2. Guard your mind

Meditate on His promises [His Word]. Surround yourself with family and friends that will hold your arms up, encourage, pray, and begin to build your spiritual strength.

My husband is away all week and in fact, he was away when I received the dreaded phone-call. It is wise to have girlfriends popping over randomly. My family is in Australia and London. Having friends is wonderful! Surround yourself with a body of Believers and the super food of encouragement that you need.

3. Listen to reason

When you are grief stricken, you will not think clearly. Maintain the mundane. Keep up with some sort of schedule. Rest plenty, and wait for the dust to settle on your grief. It will! 

4. Don't make decisions when the decision maker is broken 

I had so many well-meaning women with advice. Not all their words were wellness to the soul. In fact, it added to existing grief.

Figuratively, offer family and friends a long arm of grace. They are not mind readers and they do not know the intricate details of your life or your condition. At the same time, guard your spirit and avoid negative conversations or over reactive behavior.

5. Be patient with yourself and with God's direction

Making a decision to follow the Hallelujah Acres diet was easy for me. It has been difficult for family members and friends. 

Advice for Family and Friends:

Do not judge. Listen to people in a crisis and do not form an opinion. It is their body and their choice to do natural or chemotherapy. Have no opinion! We have 1-mouth, and 2-ears. Listen, and then listen.

It has been less than two weeks. Please join me in the journey. God knows…my breast cancer is for good - the good of others, and good for His glory. I rest in this.

A new daily statement:

"I am the happiest and healthiest woman in the world."

If you face a crisis, create a positive affirmation. It could be a Bible verse or a phrase that resonates and drives you forward in the fog of grief.

Believe in yourself. God does and so do special people.

Deborah Choma
Corporate Trainer | Conference Speaker
Inquiry or Booking:
219-902-4243 | opendoors.deborah@gmail.com